Sunday, December 13, 2009

textually speaking

When people send me text messages that I think are funny I save them. Pretty soon my whole inbox gets filled up with locked messages and I have to go through and delete them. Here are some of my favorites of the moment, preserved in all their spelling and typo dignity:
  • From: Brendan Hancock—Last night i had a dream where i needed to get some secret information from an intelligent talking globe. So i made a holographic program of princess leia and a silber android lying on a bed. The globe was in an elevator and when the door opened he saw princess leia and the silver android rubbing the sheets seductively and eyeing him. He stood looking at them for a second, then stepped off the elevator into the room. My cd-alarm started waking of up with the theme from "2001", and i said "this guy is seriously messed up."
  • From: Dave Buck—You can't just start throwing apostrophes around saying they mean whatever you like
  • From: Harold Miller—That is mysterious. Maybe you sleep ran naked through a swarm of them
  • From: Erica Martin Ricks—You are the hippest adventurer i know. Thanks for coming to nyc. And im not jst saying that bc you left the wheat thins
  • From: Harold Miller—Did i tell you that i successfully pregnated two cows yesterday? It was awesome! But I am very sore today. [...] It's a lot harder to get cows pregnant than i thought.
  • From: Jace Wickman—.....can we try and fall and miss the ground
  • From: Jace Wickman–Buahahaha Ahahahaha...well thats comeing along nicely
There are many more messages I have saved, but lots of them are from Jace Face and they are mushy and I'm not supposed to talk about them. True face. Also fact.


megalicious said...

Thanks a lot for including me. I am the best out of all your text friends, comedy-wise. Possibly mushy-wise too, as I am not so secretly obsessed with you.

Cassandra said...

I almost put in the one about you having no damn friends, but the humor was really in the exchange of texts, not one single text. "No damn friends? What about regular friends?" "Nope, none of those either."