patty

My best friend Patty is visiting! But her name is Stephanie. Sometimes she tells me about her dreams and we laugh like little school girls. Like in this picture how she is talking about a dream she had about finding a secret train and pulling a fruit roll-up out of a statue's pocket. But not necessarily and most definitely not in that order.

When she comes to visit we play our own version of Loaded Questions where we write our own questions. Tonight we played with Josh and Megan. Here are some of my favorite questions and answers: 

If Megan was a monkey, what would her favorite activity be? 

—To fling her poop at small children until they cried. Also juggling.

—Getting lots of new bras.

—Throwing her poop at everyone she didn't like because we all know that's way worse than kicking people which is what she does now.

If you could pick any celebrity to be your murderer, who would it be and how would it happen?

—Mr. T. I'd go down in the seventh round of a boxing match and then he'd pity my foolishness so hard that I'd die of shame.

–Chris Brown. He would beat me because he would think I was cheating on him. Oh wait, that's Rhianna.

—The Mighty Duck team—they would skate over myself until I was sliced into small pieces...or George of the Jungle—he would have taught me how to swing and then sabotage me and chop the vine.

If you could microwave any animal, what would it be? Why? 

—An ostrich because I'd like to see if it would fit.

—A turtle. And then I'd take his shell and wax it til it got really shiny.

—A poodle because I'd like to see it explode and see if it is as fuzzy on the inside as it is on the outside.

If Cassandra was your mom, what would be the best part about having her for a mom? 

—She would sing me to sleep and stoke my head and make me delicious food.

—How she buys a lot of hippie clothes for me.

—I am in love with her.

What a glorious evening.