...in my life i've loved them all

I came to the realization today that people are leaving. I've mostly been focused on the people I will be leaving, like Jen and Megan, Aleisha and Claire, or my aunt Taunya, people that will be left behind here in Utah, at least for a short while, while I go off to start my post-college life...wherever. But today while I was at church, wondering if there was teacher prep today, I looked around for Louis to ask him. And he wasn't there. He is in Chile on an internship and I will most likely not see him again for a very long time. Then there's Sydney who's going to Nepal on Tuesday, Chaela who will be doing EFY all summer, and Stephanie who is in Nevada working on a farm. Brad is leaving Tuesday to go to Florida to work at Disney World (or is it Disney Land? I always get those two confused...). These are people that I really care about who have become an integral part of my life in the past year and even longer. And pretty soon they won't be.

I'm not the kind of person who cries at good byes. I'm the kind of person who looks at people crying and thinks, "Really? Suck it up." But then about a week later when it sinks in that I won't be seeing those people every day or even once a month I will cry alone in my bed as I fall asleep. I'm happy to say that the crying hasn't started yet, and I predict it won't until I'm in the Poconos in Pennsylvania in a cabin full of 10-year-old girls lying exhausted and feeling alone. And that's when I will miss them most.

a case of the mondays

Today I skipped all my classes. Probably not the best move since I'll be missing these same classes on Friday for my roommate Kirsten's wedding. Oh well. There was something about today that just called for non-conformity. It was beautiful outside and I just couldn't stand sitting in the basement of the JFSB for four hours missing it all. Granted, I spent a good portion of the day indoors anyway finally putting my spring clothes into the closet and drawers and out of the boxes that have been cluttering up my floor for the past couple weeks, but still. My room has windows. I also mailed my mother her (late) Mothers' Day gift, made my wedding gift for Brock and Kate (Cassi shirts. What? They asked for them!), and went to our ward FHE at the park... not exactly sticking it to the man, but it was fun. I met some nice new people in the ward. Maybe we will be friends for the next 2 months. Maybe longer. Who knows?

Tonight I will be going to see the Star Trek movie with Louis and Sydney. Louis was supposed to be in Chile on an internship but he missed his flight today. Ba haha. Poor kid. But I'm glad because it means we get to hang out a little more before he's gone forever. Also I will get to see Sydney who I have not seen since she moved out. And I miss her. Like the sun misses the flower.

music matt will hate

My friends all like to both listen to and perform different kinds of music. And so do I. Sadly they don't usually agree with each other about what constitutes "good music," but neither do I all of the time. But sometimes I do. So here's some music I've recently found with a little help from my friends. I hope you enjoy the variety...

(from Billy)

(from other William)

(from Sydney)

(from Dave)

(from Jen)

(from Megan)

yesterday

"Yesterday, when you were young, everything you needed done was done for you..."

It sounds like now I am going to talk about all the things other people did for me when I was little and now that I'm an adult (what? I'm an adult?) I have to do them for myself and it is hard. 

I am not going to talk about that.

Yesterday, when I was walking home from Conversations with Bruce (aka my creative writing class), I ran into my roommate Sydney. She was chatting about music with a nice young fellow named William (not banana bread William, a different William). They were discussing hip hop and, because we had recently talked about the history of hip hop, R&B, and rap in my African American Lit class, I actually knew what they were talking about! I am awesome. I said stuff like East coast/West coast, pop 'n lock, Grandmaster Flash, etc. Granted I didn't know everything we were talking about, but more than I would have known otherwise! Plus, William seems like a nice kid. He told me about the Hip Hop Box you can check out from the library that has all these cds with songs all through the history of hip hop with a big booklet (not a book, it's littler, so it's a booklet) that tells you all this stuff. I will have to look into this further...

Then this random kid Jason came over and said, "Hey, so I heard you guys talking about hip hop and I've started to get into it recently but I've had some trouble finding good, clean, new stuff. Do you have and suggestions?" Sydney and I looked at each other like, "What?" Sydney even said, "Is this really happening?" It was like a movie it was so perfect.

Now I have the lyrics "Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge" stuck in my head which for some reason are associated with some memory of a cartoon, perhaps Alvin and the Chipmunks. A memory that is just out of reach...